Not hating, Just stating…

Wednesday used to be my DND night, but last night… Tuesday turned me out!The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion show and Keyshia Cole- The Way It Is made for some good reality tv last night. Tonight the Obamas & Barbara Walters will have me captivated so Top Chef will have to wait! BUT, back to the lecture @ hand. Let’s start with the Real Houswives of Atlanta Reunion Show.

“Real” Housewives of Atlanta Reunion

I was watching in amazement at how DELUSIONAL Kim is. Does she really think she can miraculously sing? She is a wreck, a mess and a tragedy. At first I was just going to REMEMBER everything & blog from memory, but after the first commercial break or so… I had to take notes. How DARE Kim start crying and IMPLYING she had cancer- You do NOT play with the big “C”, girl. Then the airhead didn’t even CLARIFY until later. Girl, don’t play! You lost 25 lbs. & your hair started falling out and the doctor was 90% sure it was cancer… and when the host asks her point blank did she have cancer she starts moaning and carrying on as if she did. Here’s the thing, I still didn’t feel bad for her. Now can you tell me I am the only one? No! No. Andy Cohen was a good one, because I would have popped her in the back of that wigged head! And I feel GYPPED because I SWEAR I missed Kim talking about her wig squeezing her head. I was ready to LOL at that one, just to see how she fit that in there!

Now what really struck me was the STAGING. Kim & Sheree on one side and NeNe, Lisa, and Deshawn on the other. As I watched the season I realized that Kim & Sheree had one very IMPORTANT thing in common, DELUSIONS OF grandeur! Sheree and her divatude and the clear fact that she thought she was the best thing since sliced bread & the diaphragm. Honey, HUSH! You and your seven-figure divorce settlement and gay cavalcade of friends are enough to make me want to just stab something. Just STOP! And Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim… poor old-faced 29 year old living-off-a-married-man Kim. Get a JOB, sweetie! Maybe when you can make enough money to buy a CLUE! But I think that Kim & Sheree DESERVE each other, they both are delusional, disloyal and disgusting.

By a show of hands, who was surprised to find out that NeNe & Sheree were friends before the show started? *surveys the room* Uh, huh… me too! SO glad I’m not alone here. NeNe strikes me as the type that will say things to your face AND behind your back, my kind of girl. I mean, NeNe is HILARIOUS she understood the comedic value of everything and above all else she was REALISTIC. I cannot imagine her and Sheree as friends, Sheree spends so much time PLAYING coy mistress, she can’t even have fun, I bet. Andy told her her clothing line wasn’t going to keep her warm at night; translation: “Quit playing, bych, you need a man!”

So let’s toss Kim & Sheree to the side, so they can lie & delude each other into oblivion, shall we? Let us move on to Lisa. I feel bad that her husband had a “grand opening, grand closing” moment with the Raiders, but how bad do you have to be to get released from the freaking RAIDERS? Anyway, Lisa looks a little odd to me; I cannot quite put my finger on it… otherworldly or something. But when she said: “Eff you Kim, I will flip you over that couch!” I believed it & she instantly became my fave! I knew that had Kim called HER a bych, she would have come at her like a spider monkey. And I soooo wanted to see it! But Lisa was dead on, Kim needed medication, because she was so obviously lying about EVERYTHING she said. I wish her & her husband the best in allll their ventures.Now Deshawn just kinda sat there looking cheap in the face. I swear she talks like a feral child (think of Jodie Foster in Nell). I am glad her soul has ben anchored in the Lord and ALL that, but can she needs speech therapy before she preaches her first sermon. And, uuuuh, not to be funny but, how is it possible to go to Divinity School online, how are you too busy to make time for the LORD… Something about that whole scenario is just WRONG!

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Dwight came flouncing in looking like the damn VAMPIRE in Brooklyn!

The Way It Is

In all honesty, when Keyshia Cole first came out, I didn’t like her. She was a hot ghetto mess & I thought she was just another non-singing hood chick who was “effing for tracks” (hey hey hey, those are Dallas Austin’s words [not in reference to Keyshia, but you get it] NOT MINE). As I slowly started getting sucked into watching The Way It Is because my sister used to watch it EVERYTIME it was on. Everytime? Yes, EVERYTIME! I have to watch this show in real time because I don’t want the spie sin my DVR notifying the powers-that-be that I actually WATCH BET… LORD FORBID!

I only have a FEW comments about this show because Frankie weighs on my SOUL, she does! Neffe has little people hands… like stubby Vienna sausages!! OMG! I was a little disappointed in Whitney Phipps being on there, but he is her pastor, so… *shrug*.

Now Frankie is the walking, talking proof of the old adage: Once a crackhead, Always a crackhead! She is everything sad & funny about a crackhead. And I truly feel for Neffe because she tries to love that woman and that woman insists on showing out & STYLING on her every chance she gets!

 Pastor Phipps told her she had to stop trying to make things better all by herself between 2 adults. Keyshia could benefit from listening to a little Project Pat: Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved! And by “her” I mean her entire family, they are doing very little as a whole to save themselves. And what is up with her foster mother where does she get those wigs? Shytty Wig Emporium????

Frankie… your man??? Frankie… your man! I mean her BOYFRIEND is literally a boy… and all Neffe could say was he’s cuter than the last one. *smh* He is barely out of puberty & he has gold teeth. But I guess if he has never been to jail (in his adult life of 2.5 years) and doesn’t do drugs (marijuana isn’t a drug) then hey, he is a catch. BET still has the LOUDEST commercials ever… I remember having to turn the volume down all the time! But what is up with those Dr. Miracle commercials? They are low budget & Dr. Miracle can’t talk… he sounds like he is related to DeShawn Snow. UGH!

Out of alllll those kids Frankie had, Keyshia is the cutest one? Neffe cleaned up WELL for her book cover, but they lightened her waaay up, WOW! 

And after allll that drama, I turn to see who won Dancing with the Stars & the ish is STILL on!  I  was going to watch it until I realized Miley Sinus was going to perform, so I went ahead & called it a night, UGH! Way to RUIN a results show! 

I’m not hating, I’m just stating!

IT JUST HIT ME… i KNOW WHAT THE MYSTERIOUS DISEASE IS KIM HAD…. ANOREXIA LIEVOSA!

There have been some stories in the gossip blogs I subscribe to via Reader about celebrities that I am just feeling like they need help, some NON-yes men to guide them in the right direction, so in no particular order, here goes:

Tyra Banks:

You GO, girl; you do your thing; I ain’t mad atcha; do you, boo… and that other cliche slang meaning, I am half-assed encoraging you because I don’t REALLY like what you are doing, but hey, you are successful at it!

Yesterday I read Tyra “surprised” Miz Isis King of PG County with a gender-reassignment surgery. Tyra, baby, what are you doing? This isn’t a new car, or clothes, or toys. You are going the Extreme Makeover route, unsolicited. It’s not like Isis wrote in to your show & asked (or maybe (s)he did). Regardless, there is something so CRAZY about this surprise. Does Isis get to choose the doctor? Is there some sort of catalogue (s)he gets to peruse before deciding on a va-jay-jay? I am just totally confused by this “gesture”… I understand you want to be this generations Oprah, but somehow you are doing it wrong.

 Lindsay Lohan:

Clearly your mom has not told you or you have not listened: SIT YOUR AZZ DOWN SOMEWHERE! I don’t care where OR with whom. Just sit! Be still! Be quiet! Be reflective! But for goodness sake BE GONE! I am so tired of seeing her raggedy face in every other blog I read. I don’t care if you are gay or if your are in the closet or if you are lost and turned out. I DO care that you are or SHOULD BE irrelevant yet you are constantly and consistently in my Reader looking like an oldt hoe! You are only 22 yet you look like you have more miles on you than a retreaded tire on a cross-country big rig. I hope you get a hold of yourself before you end up a tragic, sullen-faced, botoxed, detoxed hoe puff of mess on the 4th season of Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab. Go to your quiet place & remain there until further notice.

Nick & Mariah:

I have broken my promise to myself that I would not discuss this mish-mash of a couple. But thanks to Black Snob I have had no choice but to look at this mess everyday. If they are happy, GREAT! If they are preggers, AWESOME! But why is their whole happy, preggers coupledom a gyadamm photo op???

Are you trying to convince ME or YOU?? HUH? Nick, you haven’t been CUTE since The Nick Cannon Show & you haven’t been RELEVANT since Drumline regardless of what your IMDB page says… You are wack and your “wife” is wacked out! I love love & I am all for it, but I also know love when I see it & neither of you are good actors… ok? ok. If you are really in love, I beg of thee to go softly into that good night & keep your maniacal. oh-my-gawd-look-at-us love to yourselves! please & thank you!

Kim Zsleazeback (UNreal Housewife of Atlanta):

A- you are not a wife, you are a jump-off…

B- You can’t sing… stop trying to be a country singer… That is like me waking up and wanting to be a world-class ice skater

c- you are NOT 29, not on this planet or any other… not even in reverse dog years!

D- You CANNOT SING!

For those of you with sense that REFUSE to get sucked into the cess pool that is Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kim is the token white girl with the plastic Barbie wig setting atop her head… yes SETTING! She has 2 kids & an anonymous donor named Big Papa who gives her money in exchange for her “friendship”. She had once claimed to be engaged to this married man, but we know how THAT turns out, right?

Kim has befriended a fellow delusional housewife who, after 3 years of trying to get a divorce hopes to get 7 figures out of the deal. And I don’t think she means Partridge Family collectible dolls (if you include the band manager). My advice to Kim is STOP! Whatever you are doing, don’t! Whatever you may think is the next step, isn’t. Whatever you are dreaming of, wake up! You are a mother of two DAUGHTERS, they learn by example… be a better one! Get a life coach, I will do it… and if that doesn’t work, I have a friend we call Dr. Mimi who has a cure-all for what ails ya. I won’t go into detail now, but trust me her solution is sure-fire, but definitely a last resort!

And Kim, please use your credit cards to purchase a clue! because anytime you cannot interpret a conversation like this, you got issues:

I’m not hating, I’m just stating!

FINALLY, I have my thoughts together so that I may complete this blog with the respect, reverence and dignity it deserves.

Last week, I spent HOURS on my feet for one Barack Obama.  Monday, I stood for hours in Manassas Park waiting for President Elect Obama to address the crowd. He was scheduled to be there at 9 PM and he did not arrive until almost 10:30 PM. We had gotten to the venue after 5 PM and when we left it was well after 11. That is 6 plus hours of standing in the COLD on a school night! I cannot describe the feeling in the air. Sharing my space with 80,000 people some of whom were ruder than others. But MOST of whom knew, in their hearts, they were a part of history. After what had to be the most PAINFUL liver performance I have ever had to suffer through and listening to the  Obama camps soundtrack AD NAUSEUM, President-Elect Obama took the stage. And he made me believe that he was not only going to win over Virginia, but also the world.

The next morning I woke up too late to try and drive to MD to vote in the morning from Manassas. I left work early and got to the polling place JUST in time to avoid having to stand in the rain BEFORE standing inside in line. I was disappointed to see so many black people showing out. And by that I mean this:

There was an older lady a few people ahead of me asking one of the volunteers how long she would have to stand in line. The volunteer informed her that if she didn’t want to stand, she could take a ticket and have a seat and they would call her into the polling place when a handicapped voting booth became available. She  told her that it was a courtesy to seniors and the disabled. It seems the older lady did not want to stand in line, she wanted to draaaag a chair around in the line with her so she could sit when she was ready to sit,  therefore, the volunteer offered her an alternative. But, as it turns out the older lady wasn’t disabled or really even OLD, she was just LAZY! She didn’t want to wait PERIOD, and for some reason she thought that because she was old & ornery she wouldn’t have to. When the volunteer informed her that the wait was LONGER to sit and wait than to stand in the line, she BALKED! Someone further up in the line let her up, but it DISAPPOINTED me that this woman, on the eve of such an important, life-changing event she was disagreeable, and LAZY!

Another lady walks up to the volunteer and asks what did you say about the seats and tickets. The volunteer says, POLITELY: “The seats and tickets are for seniors, are you a senior?” To which the lady replies in the SNIPPIEST of manners: “I LIVE in SO & SO community so you might as well SAY that.” Now mind you the volunteer was BEING polite, because I could tell the snippy lady had a mental disability, which I know the volunteer was THINKING, but who ASKS someone if they are handicapped? So the volunteer tells the lady the same thing…. you take a ticket, you have a seat, we call you when we call you but it may take longer than standing in line. The snippy lady rolls her eyes at the volunteer and says: “I’ll just stand in line then, shoooot!” ASTOUNDING… These people were trying to use their age & unspoken handicap to essentially “bust in line”. Stand there, feel the ENERGY, be part of history & have some PRIDE about yourself.

After 1.5 hours of snaking through the community center, I voted for Senators Obama and Biden! I looked at the summary TWICE, I reviewed my votes on the telecommunications tax and went back one more time just to make sure I voted for Obama/Biden then I went home to prepare for the historical evening. I went to a spot downtown that I have never had the desire to visit before, but because my  boyfriend wanted to go, I went. (Look @ me compromising) but not for long. The place was shoulder to shoulder with uppity, over dressed folks. Did you really wear those white(or are they silver)  stockings and brown boots to work, hun? Do you always wear a bow tie & 3-piece suit to the office, young man? Once I MUSCLED my way through the crowd, I found my boyfriend and told him I could NOT stay there. That compromise didn’t last long, huh? We go down to U Street and I am FINALLY able to sit DOWN! State by state, we cheer each time one goes to Obama. I look at the map on CNN & whisper to my boyfriend, “I think Virginia was blue.”Of course, he missed it. The polls close on the east coast and finally, after building the suspense. They call VA for Obama. Instantly people get on their cell phones & I cannot make a call out! They start blasting music through the club & I ask the beau if he is ready to leave. We walk to the corner of 14th & U and realize there is a PARTY going on! we cheer and cry & dance in the street for over an hour!

NO, your eyes doth not deceiveth thee, I took the NEXT step ot of the Dark ages & used my own video from  my own cellular phone. Ain’t you so proud?

Wednesday, I lazed around in the bed watching the news & FoxNews, MSNBC, CN, QVC, HGTV… I kiiid, I kid. I only watched the CREDIBLE news channels until about noon. I KIND of wished I had gone to work to look those McCainiacs in their crestfallen faces. But, after work, I realized I didn’t get a daggone PAPER! But my email group informed me they were REPRINTING and REDELIVERING them to local stores. I immediately went to STAND for Obama for the third day in a row! After 2 hours & NO paper, I find out that there will be commemorative editions sold the next morning. I went home!

Thursday morning, I get up before the sun to stand in line for an hour at 7-11. When the delivery man finally arrives, the RUDY at the counter begins to harass him about how many papers he has brought & makes him count them out. Meanwhile, the 4 others who stood in line with me wnat their commemorative editions also. I got out to the delivery truck and purchase two special editions for $1.50.

FINALLY, I get to have a seat… FINALLY satisfied that I witnessed history, I helped make history, and now I have a piece of history! The week was tiring, and wore on my patience, nerves and emotions, but I would not change it for the WORLD!

As the days go on, I become prouder and prouder of the decision I made in that voting booth. This man is the REAL American dream. He gives everyone hope. Hope that this country had lost. This fatherless child found success, love and faith in a country that had never really belonged to HIM. Whoopi Goldberg said last Wednesday that she felt she could finally put down her suitcase. For so long, so many Blacks in this country felt like foster children. SFar too often we were made to feel like guests in what was supposed to be our home, while the “biological children” had the run of the house there were still things we weren’t allowed to do and parts of the house we weren’t allowed in. Feeling like at ANY moment, social services would come take us away so we always kept our bags packed under the bed JUST in case we were taken away or had to RUN away. Sometimes being too scared to question the house rules or rock the boat because we were unsure what might happen. But finally, the papers are signed and we have a permanent home; OFFICALLY part of the family. But like any adoptive family, there are those members that still don’t want us around and slowly but surely they are finding they can no longer hide their TRUE feelings and are becoming the NEW talk of the family. Don’t worry, they will soon realize they are the NEW outsiders and their issues will NOT go undiscussed as before.

But I digress, President-Elect Barack H. Obama is FOCUSED on the things that REALLY matter in this country. The national economy and the way the world views the United States. I was AMAZED to find out that one of his FIRST orders of business, is to bring the prisoners of Guantanamo Bay to trial and shut that TRAVESTY of humanity DOWN! I couldn’t even remember the last time I thought about GitMo let alone the last time President Bush addressed it. And here Obama is making it one of his FIRST orders of business. I believe in him and a MAJORITY of the civically  responsible Americans do too. With the support of the nation and the world watching, I pray for him and this country as we combat and overcome centuries of inhumane and imperial policies, treatments and mindsets. Senator Obama has restored my faith in this country, this government and Black love! (I can only PRAY my relationship has that SPARK the Obamas have!)

YES WE CAN!

YES WE DID!

YES WE WILL! 

Trust me when I tell y’all this blog took ALOT out of me! and I didn’t even put alll my thoughts on here!

Right now I am speechless & also waiting for ELizabeth Hasselbecks head to explode in a few minutes, if there is a GOD!

But don’t worry your pretty little heads. I got something good working. including video live from U street NW last night!