Not hating, Just stating…

I don’t think I knew or fully understood that at 30, I would suddenly turn into a 13 year old. My hormones and body have reverted to pubescent times…

My skin… my pride & joy is more like a map of the surface of the moon… hills, craters, valleys… WHAT!??! It wasn’t supposed to be this way. But that is indeed how it is. and it’s itchy… am I allergic to 30? say it ain’t so! At first I thought it was just my new bangs. But uuuuh, it has spread all across my face like a Chris Brown rumor! *sigh*I don’t even know what to do about it… I guess I will have to get my doctor to refer me to a good dermatologist because this is NOT ok!

Uneven growth spurts… I thought I was done growing. UP maybe, but not out. my left side has decided to be its own person. It is seceding from the union and making its independence known MUCH to the chagrin of my clothes & shoes.

Hormonious… I feel like I JUST discovered the male species. Like they JUST found a cure for cooties & now it’s ok to go near them. Not only is it ok, but it is preferable & necessary. I’m not a cougar though because I am liking them young or old. I’m not a benefits “whore” like I used to be because I have been eyeballing men who couldn’t possibly have direct deposit let alone a benefits package. I’m not even discreet about it. I stare, I turn around & look back. I even wave & smile. WHAT? WHY? I don’t know… I don’t do anything but shoot them down if they actually mistake my ogling for flirtation or REAL interest… I am 13 again. (Shout out to ILB…. weeeee’re baaaaaack!!)

I want 29 back. I preferred the oily t-zone & occasional dry patch over the all over outbreak of mini-acne. I preferred the defiant love handle that could be tamed by a few weeks of low carbs over the entire mutation of my left hand side into some buxom chick twice my size & half my age. I preferred the role of coy mistress giggling behind her hand over the “Hey how YOU doin?” that I am fighting against now.

I am now in search of acne treatments, proper fitting garments, and a hobby that won’t get my fast behind in trouble. When people welcomed me to 30 & told me I would love it… I believed them. But THIS, I do not love! I hope within the next FEW months this ceases & desists & everything comes together like it did summer before 11th grade… And I once again become a dime… and not this 5 pennies & a nickel mess I got workin now!

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