Not hating, Just stating…

“Night or day they’re just not matching what they should do. Keep me feeling blue.” -The Spinners

Part one:

 I am a firm believer in doing what you say & saying what you’re gonna do. If you think that making me an empty promise is the way to keep me happy or hanging on, ya dead wrong! If you think that NOT saying something to me directly about something that will have an affect on me will keep me from getting upset, ya dead wrong!

Tell the truth upfront & let the chips fall where they may. Manipulating truth is lying, omitting parts of the truth is lying by omission, and just flat out lying is your ARSE! I hate being lied to like ANYONE, but most of all I hate being manipulated and having energy transferred to me that I don’t deserve. Transferring energy is a little like deflecting only there are only two people involved and the person to whom you are giving the business feels trapped in their own lie & tries to accuse you of something similar to their transgression in an effort to take the guilt off of them. This doesn’t work with me because I’M SMART! So why do it? Because you like to play games and manipulate situations to your advantage and when  mirror is held up to you, you refuse to look in it. It’s time to get off the playground & step into adulthood… I don’t want to play tag or hide-n-seek or monkey in the middle… You can have fun with someone without playing games.

Part two:

“Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone?”- Joni Mitchell

This is a recurring theme for me. We’re “dating”, “seeing each other”, “talking”, “hanging out”and for some reason I start to make “demands” of you that you cannot fulfill. Not ultimatums, or even real demands… just requests for simple things like quality time or a night out once in a while. (Who would remain interested in someone that never went out with them, right? only a fool or a sukka, right? RIGHT!) So I start to feel that the relating-ship (I use that term for the commitmentphobic folks so as not to have it confused with “relationship” which includes titles & responsibilities for each others feelings and general treating the other person like a human being) is slowly deteriorating & I bring it to your attention before it fizzles & fades. I am not an unreasonable person, I give it time to get fixed. BUt after I have brought it up a FEW times & am met with nothing but the aforementioned games, I let you know it’s not gonna work for me &  I get *GONE*. I don’t call like I used to, I don’t respond to you the way I used to & we definitely don’t do the things we used to. SUddenly and much too late you realize something is amiss… and it’s time to do soemthing about it. CORRECTION, it’s too late.

As a result of your game playing, you are now sitting there thinking about the way things used to be. *cue Joni*

“Don’t it always seem to go

That you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s *GONE*

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot.”

It has been a while, I know…

I have been working & interning & getting my lesson out (as my grammy says) recently I have been actually going out… on dates… with like a boy & stuff. Yeah, I know, it IS strange.

I am really trying to make an effort to blog more, but life gets in the way… *womp womp*

I haven’t been watching much tv or dvr… I took myself to the movies Sunday I was a very EXPENSIVE date… I saw up in 3D… *cha ching*

So I am just letting the FEW of you who keep up with me that I have not abandoned my blog (like I have the 4 or so others I started), I just have been trying NOT to be overwhemed with all I got goins on.

I think I will revisit the idea of being *GONE* at some point today…. because maaaaaan, some people really like to be last minute Larry’s! But we’ll discuss that in a few hours. So *checks clock* let’s say we meet back here around 11 AM, cool? COOL!

BTW, if I am not here at 11… I probably won’t post until this evening… sad, but true… this IS my life!