Not hating, Just stating…

I attend a grad school that has what they call blended courses, partially online with a 3 day weekend in class. This weekend we had class and I was ready to put a face to the names I had seen online attached to some of the more “interesting” posts to our online classroom.

There was one particular classmate that some think may be a little learning disabled, or a sufferer of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome or maybe a crackbaby. Her posts are like word salad, and the lettuce was WILTED… I had taken to skipping them because they gave me a headache.

We get to class & I am sitting next to my “lil sis” and she informs me that the girl sitting in front of us on the end is the chef of the word salad online. She introduces herself & is supposed to be explaining what she wants to do with her degree… I have NO idea what she was saying… something about crime scenes and fire and a few I don’t knows. I was scared.

As the weekend progressed, I noticed that she had some pretty bad habits. Including, CONSTANTLY saying “whatsever”. I kept score, she said it 6 times. Yeah, I kept score. But I started to feel like a joke was being played on me because there is NO WAY, this girl was in grad school. The teacher asked if everyone read his bio & what they thought of it, she blurts out: “Your job seems boring, but I guess you find it interesting.” Where at do they do that?

Throughout the weekend, she gave various indications that she wasn’t all there. The teacher asked a question & in the middle of her answering, she says: “DAMN, I forgot!” Then commences toTOTALLY mispronounce the name of the author of the MAIN textbook we use. My entire row sat there in complete & utter disbelief. She then, decided to mispronounce the MAIN FOCUS of the class: COMPENSEE… leaving out an entire syllable. I turned to my girl T & wasked her what “compensee to stand trial” meant and, bless her heart if she didn’t try to explain COMPENTENCY to stand trial to me. Until I stopped her & said: I said COMPENSEE not COMPETENCY. We laughed & shook our heads.

The entire weekend, we waited with bated breath for her presentation because we were soooo sure that it would be entertaining, to say the least. The schedule for presentations was already given out so everyone knew when it was their turn… EXCEPT HER! We all sat looking at her and finally the teacher called her name & she exclaims: OH SHYT! AGAIN WADTDT? She announces to the class that she feels dumb because she didn’t understand the assignement. Which I found both easy AND hard to believe. Theselection of presentation topics was laid out in the syllabus at the beginning of class and the topic had tobe approved by the professor AND the subjects to be discussed in the presentation and the paper were outlined in the schedule for the weekend a week before we met. Yet, somehow, despite alllll of that, she managed to get it wrong. Hm!??! Immediately, my entire row began to text one another. She HAD to know we were doing it. But, then again she was oblivious to everything else. She said ax instead of ask, deaf instead of death, and made a very curious reference to 1994s as if it were SEVERAL years instead of one. At the end she kept using the word reassualts and it took me several minutes before I was able to figure out that she MIGHT have meant reasserts. The world may NEVER know.

I really want to see her transcripts. I sincerely hope that with all the hardwork I have put into my graduate school education and my AWESOME way with words that I have BETTER grades than she. Perhaps if she were simply socially inep, I wouldn’t have bothered even blogging about it. But because she seems to not only be inept, but also waaaay out of her league & over her head, I demand ANSWERS! What a travesty!

I’m not hating, I’m just stating.

I haven’t said THAT in a while…

Then acts surprised, astounded, shocked & apalled. I am wondering what Mr. Burris was thinking even ACCEPTING the appointment. I swear if I hear one more political commentator say “TAINT”, “Under the TAINT”… I am going to just totally explode into a million bits of sophomoric laughter.

“Contamination”, “corruption”, “blemish”, even “uncertainty”… are very collegiate and acceptable words. But they know good & well “taint” is SLANG for something not TOO dissimilar, but come on! Stop using “taint”! Please? Please!

Now on to Burris, I think it is funny that his name is a homophone for a slang term my girls & I use to mean REALLY EMBARRASSED! THis guy has not even an inkling of enbarassment. And now it is being reported that he is going to be seated & President-Elect Obama is going to work with him. Congratulations, but not really, “Jr. Senator” Burris… you must be so proud. (Smell that sarcasm?)

Really, what is going on? It’s like a pimp with questionable taste in women choosing you as his bottom b***h after the original one has cleaned up her life and moved on to more respectable work. This is not an accomplishment, there is NOTHING to be proud of, no one in the political… er, I mean, pimping community is going to respect you regardless. So enjoy your glory days, they won’t last long. So much for the taint of Blagojevich… *stifling a snicker*

I’m soooooo not hating, I’m just stating!

What the hot buttered snot is going on in Illinois? The governor went all old school gangsta on them- talking reckless & shaking folks down like “WHAT!?!?” (I love/hate that phrase) Blogjog, as I call him has really been real Kanye West with his i.e., saying & doing whatever he wants! Must be an Illinois thing. R. Kelly, pees on who he wants. Kanye says what he wants. Blogjog shakesdown who he wants. And in the midst of all of this, Poor President-Elect Obama sits, once again being dragged into foolishness because he associated with a man that associated with foolishness. This is a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation for him. Obama said he didn’t have any unsavory dealings with the man, but that wasn’t good enough. The media want to know if he knew this man was up to no good and if so why didn’t he dime him out. Why didn’t you dime out your crackhead uncle? Your embezzelling daddy? Your stealing from Wal-mart grandmother? I am not going to weigh in on it, I just want you all to think about that.

Illinois is just one of 50 states and territories that Obama has to worry about. He is pretty much being charged with cleaning up the biggest, most ignorant and reckless frat party EVER! And the media is worried about why he never cleaned his room.  PISHAW! Poor, poor JJJ, I hope he wasn’t involved in this blatant disregard for the law, ethics, and common sense. This is the information age no one goes unnoticed, you can only fly under the radar but SO long especially in the public eye. So young JJJ, I hope you are honest & integritous (is that a word yet?)

And finally, I would like to call SHENANIGANS on Oprah. YOUNG LADY, get over thine self! You know good & goshdarn well you didn’t SUDDENLY gain 60 pounds! Just like I am lying to myself about sudenly gaining 25. First of all, it happens! Just because people put you on a pedastal, The Oprah is a human being… it is ok. I forgive you. Secondly, WE saw you getting bigger, you don’t have to act like we didn’t. and lastly, who cares you are The Oprah! Enjoy it, honey! Live your good life, don’t let these folks out here have you DYING to be thin. Skinny people die of heart disease too. Have some pie for me, girrrrl, because I can’t afford bigger clothes so I gotta lose this weight. You got options… USE THEM!

FINALLY, I have my thoughts together so that I may complete this blog with the respect, reverence and dignity it deserves.

Last week, I spent HOURS on my feet for one Barack Obama.  Monday, I stood for hours in Manassas Park waiting for President Elect Obama to address the crowd. He was scheduled to be there at 9 PM and he did not arrive until almost 10:30 PM. We had gotten to the venue after 5 PM and when we left it was well after 11. That is 6 plus hours of standing in the COLD on a school night! I cannot describe the feeling in the air. Sharing my space with 80,000 people some of whom were ruder than others. But MOST of whom knew, in their hearts, they were a part of history. After what had to be the most PAINFUL liver performance I have ever had to suffer through and listening to the  Obama camps soundtrack AD NAUSEUM, President-Elect Obama took the stage. And he made me believe that he was not only going to win over Virginia, but also the world.

The next morning I woke up too late to try and drive to MD to vote in the morning from Manassas. I left work early and got to the polling place JUST in time to avoid having to stand in the rain BEFORE standing inside in line. I was disappointed to see so many black people showing out. And by that I mean this:

There was an older lady a few people ahead of me asking one of the volunteers how long she would have to stand in line. The volunteer informed her that if she didn’t want to stand, she could take a ticket and have a seat and they would call her into the polling place when a handicapped voting booth became available. She  told her that it was a courtesy to seniors and the disabled. It seems the older lady did not want to stand in line, she wanted to draaaag a chair around in the line with her so she could sit when she was ready to sit,  therefore, the volunteer offered her an alternative. But, as it turns out the older lady wasn’t disabled or really even OLD, she was just LAZY! She didn’t want to wait PERIOD, and for some reason she thought that because she was old & ornery she wouldn’t have to. When the volunteer informed her that the wait was LONGER to sit and wait than to stand in the line, she BALKED! Someone further up in the line let her up, but it DISAPPOINTED me that this woman, on the eve of such an important, life-changing event she was disagreeable, and LAZY!

Another lady walks up to the volunteer and asks what did you say about the seats and tickets. The volunteer says, POLITELY: “The seats and tickets are for seniors, are you a senior?” To which the lady replies in the SNIPPIEST of manners: “I LIVE in SO & SO community so you might as well SAY that.” Now mind you the volunteer was BEING polite, because I could tell the snippy lady had a mental disability, which I know the volunteer was THINKING, but who ASKS someone if they are handicapped? So the volunteer tells the lady the same thing…. you take a ticket, you have a seat, we call you when we call you but it may take longer than standing in line. The snippy lady rolls her eyes at the volunteer and says: “I’ll just stand in line then, shoooot!” ASTOUNDING… These people were trying to use their age & unspoken handicap to essentially “bust in line”. Stand there, feel the ENERGY, be part of history & have some PRIDE about yourself.

After 1.5 hours of snaking through the community center, I voted for Senators Obama and Biden! I looked at the summary TWICE, I reviewed my votes on the telecommunications tax and went back one more time just to make sure I voted for Obama/Biden then I went home to prepare for the historical evening. I went to a spot downtown that I have never had the desire to visit before, but because my  boyfriend wanted to go, I went. (Look @ me compromising) but not for long. The place was shoulder to shoulder with uppity, over dressed folks. Did you really wear those white(or are they silver)  stockings and brown boots to work, hun? Do you always wear a bow tie & 3-piece suit to the office, young man? Once I MUSCLED my way through the crowd, I found my boyfriend and told him I could NOT stay there. That compromise didn’t last long, huh? We go down to U Street and I am FINALLY able to sit DOWN! State by state, we cheer each time one goes to Obama. I look at the map on CNN & whisper to my boyfriend, “I think Virginia was blue.”Of course, he missed it. The polls close on the east coast and finally, after building the suspense. They call VA for Obama. Instantly people get on their cell phones & I cannot make a call out! They start blasting music through the club & I ask the beau if he is ready to leave. We walk to the corner of 14th & U and realize there is a PARTY going on! we cheer and cry & dance in the street for over an hour!

NO, your eyes doth not deceiveth thee, I took the NEXT step ot of the Dark ages & used my own video from  my own cellular phone. Ain’t you so proud?

Wednesday, I lazed around in the bed watching the news & FoxNews, MSNBC, CN, QVC, HGTV… I kiiid, I kid. I only watched the CREDIBLE news channels until about noon. I KIND of wished I had gone to work to look those McCainiacs in their crestfallen faces. But, after work, I realized I didn’t get a daggone PAPER! But my email group informed me they were REPRINTING and REDELIVERING them to local stores. I immediately went to STAND for Obama for the third day in a row! After 2 hours & NO paper, I find out that there will be commemorative editions sold the next morning. I went home!

Thursday morning, I get up before the sun to stand in line for an hour at 7-11. When the delivery man finally arrives, the RUDY at the counter begins to harass him about how many papers he has brought & makes him count them out. Meanwhile, the 4 others who stood in line with me wnat their commemorative editions also. I got out to the delivery truck and purchase two special editions for $1.50.

FINALLY, I get to have a seat… FINALLY satisfied that I witnessed history, I helped make history, and now I have a piece of history! The week was tiring, and wore on my patience, nerves and emotions, but I would not change it for the WORLD!

As the days go on, I become prouder and prouder of the decision I made in that voting booth. This man is the REAL American dream. He gives everyone hope. Hope that this country had lost. This fatherless child found success, love and faith in a country that had never really belonged to HIM. Whoopi Goldberg said last Wednesday that she felt she could finally put down her suitcase. For so long, so many Blacks in this country felt like foster children. SFar too often we were made to feel like guests in what was supposed to be our home, while the “biological children” had the run of the house there were still things we weren’t allowed to do and parts of the house we weren’t allowed in. Feeling like at ANY moment, social services would come take us away so we always kept our bags packed under the bed JUST in case we were taken away or had to RUN away. Sometimes being too scared to question the house rules or rock the boat because we were unsure what might happen. But finally, the papers are signed and we have a permanent home; OFFICALLY part of the family. But like any adoptive family, there are those members that still don’t want us around and slowly but surely they are finding they can no longer hide their TRUE feelings and are becoming the NEW talk of the family. Don’t worry, they will soon realize they are the NEW outsiders and their issues will NOT go undiscussed as before.

But I digress, President-Elect Barack H. Obama is FOCUSED on the things that REALLY matter in this country. The national economy and the way the world views the United States. I was AMAZED to find out that one of his FIRST orders of business, is to bring the prisoners of Guantanamo Bay to trial and shut that TRAVESTY of humanity DOWN! I couldn’t even remember the last time I thought about GitMo let alone the last time President Bush addressed it. And here Obama is making it one of his FIRST orders of business. I believe in him and a MAJORITY of the civically  responsible Americans do too. With the support of the nation and the world watching, I pray for him and this country as we combat and overcome centuries of inhumane and imperial policies, treatments and mindsets. Senator Obama has restored my faith in this country, this government and Black love! (I can only PRAY my relationship has that SPARK the Obamas have!)

YES WE CAN!

YES WE DID!

YES WE WILL! 

 

Trust me when I tell y’all this blog took ALOT out of me! and I didn’t even put alll my thoughts on here!

PREFACE: I made one change to this blog because it was pointed out to me that I wrote something inaccurate and I made another change to clarify that I am in NO WAY blind to the heroism of John McCain. Please do not use your comments here to give props to John McCain this is about ME, not you! CARRY ON!

I was going to try to keep this blog about what I learned about life & love, but John McCain has tap-danced on my last nerve with his shenanigans! He is alllll show. Allllll talk. His V.P.? Is allll looks. It wasn’t until I saw The View Monday that I realized the Tina Fey sketch was word for word. Anyway, here goes.

Dear John McCain,

I used to think you were a pretty swell guy. I used to think that you really deserved a shot at the presidency.  A SHOT, not the presidency itself. But THEN, you got underhanded. THEN you started making grandiose statements including suspending your campaign to focus on the economic crisis, but as of 9:42 AM on Tuesday September 30, 2008, your President is still urging for a resolution. I have it on good authority that despite your assurance to do all you could to make sure the bailout bill passed, when it did not you went out to dinner with Joe Lieberman and your wives, were you discussing the crisis then? I mean this was only the most important thing you have voted on this year since you haven’t been at a Senate roll call since April. I am on to you! You can spout experience until you are blue in the face, but you are not USING it to do a daggone thing thus far other than using it as a crutch to limp your way into the White House. So, here we are closing in on your Veep’s debut in the unscripted debate. Are you shaking in your boots at what she might say? Are you sure she has been briefed, rebriefed and briefed again & again & again & again & again?

Senator McCain, I want to congratulate you for having the people fooled. For using your shortarmedness (read: telling & retelling & telling again of your heroic P.O.W. story… it is a POWERFUL story, but that doesn’t make everything you did thereafter RIGHT!)  to strong arm your way into the GOP nomination. You have been in the political game for a looooooooooooooong time, but what have you done other than having the highest missed vote count this year more than a man with a BRAIN HEMMORRHAGE and flying to every country on the planet. Quizbeggastan: been there, Yugoslavia: been there, the moon: been there & played tennis with Don Cornelius.

You recently played Super Save-A-Hoe for your Veep Nom with Katie Couric, who has NEVER been known as a hardball journalist. Yet, you had to fly in and save her from the scary lady. Senator McCain, this was foolishness and transparent. Sarah Palin is not a victim of the media elite. She is a victim of your vindictive and manipulative campaign. I feel sorry for her because she has NO idea what she has gotten herself into and neither do you.

Sincerely,

Everyone not involved in your campaign that lives in a purple or blue state with all of their teeth, no racial bias, some semblance of an education, an inability to be easily swayed, and an income WELL below what YOU think is middle-class.

I have gone to Miami every year for the past 5 years or so. And everytime I go, it is a new experience. I have been with different groups of people & each time is an AWESOME time!

Miami never ceases to amaze or amuse me. I realize I can’t drink like I used to, so my Wet Willie’s days are drawing nigh. But News Cafe & Jerry’s are still the BEST places to eat good assed regular food! The hot tubs @ the Shelborne, the infinity pool @ the National, the rooftop lounge @ the Townhouse. AMAZING!

I bought jewelry on top of jewelry only for ME this year. I met Whiteboy from I Love New York & I Love Money and he is the hottest Jewish boy I have ever met & I have met some HOT Jewish boys! I partied with my people at The 5th & didn’t wake up with a hangover! I finally got to ride a scooter through the streets of South Beach. AWESOMENESS!

I had never travelled with my co-worker before, but she was an AWESOME vacation partner. See how I keep using the word AWESOME? Yeah… I love South Beach with an all-inclusive resort on the sunny shores of JA, a close second. But South Beach has always been the place I HAVE to go each year.

The plane ticket was $160, the room was a STEAL, the transportation to & from the airport was a lil steep, but not bad when split 2 or 3 ways. I didn’t want to leeeeeave… I still had a list of things I didn’t get to do. My friend had a personal issue so we missed the strip club & then the heat got the best of us so we missed going to Dream. I wanted to have plantains & blackbeans & rice @ Lario’s. I wanted to ride a bike down the beach again. I wanted to go to the MAC store & have a fabulous Miami queen make me FLAWLESS! UGH! I want to go back, NOW!

All in all, it was not perfect & not everything went as planned, but hey Miami is as close to paradise as you can get in the continental US. My uncle was asking if I went to Key West… um, when you are in MIAMI do you NEEEED to go anywhere else? UH UH!

As of today, I have 22 days before I feel the RUSH of the city that never sleeps… I can’t wait for that EITHER! I am by no means a jet setter, but there are places that I HAVE to go regularly because they make me feel so alive! I am presently shaking my shimmy as I type! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Imagine you are out for a night on the town with your co-worker when you notice attractive men of questionable character. It is unfortunate that when you see a group of well-dressed Black men, you have to watch them CLOSELY to determine if you are there type & vice versa. But that is what happened. I had to OBSERVE very closely. I determined these 5 attractive, well-dressed men were more interested in one another than anyone else in the club.

One of the men I knew and used to crush on majorly until I realized, I was all alone in the crush line. He wasn’t interested in anything I had to offer. I laid the useless pursuit to rest well before I got too caught up. Since then, I have paid attention to who he interacts with and how they interact. I hope it is not a new trend for hetero men to hang out in groups and dance only or MOSTLY with one another. This has long been a solely female club tradition; one that has frustrated men nationwide and last night, before my eyes… I witnessed the phenomenon with men.

They had routines that they undoubtedly picked up from watching BET. I was like ummmm, y’all can dance, but you are about to step on my girls FOOT! It’s not that serious. One of them danced with me for all of a minute and a half, not to sound conceited, but NO ONE dances with ME for a minute & a half! That is UNHEARD OF! *ASTOUNDED*

I went over to one of the promoters for the happy hour & with much distress in my face & voice, I pointed out the questionable activity. I informed him that I have NOTHING AGAINST GAY MEN, but the sheer magnitude of the display was beyond what I could handle. I watched in awe as a group of women primped & preened & overdid it in front of the mirror before turning their attention to these men who were paying them NO ATTENTION! My co-worker and I laughed OUTLOUD as these three women fell alllll over themselves trying to grab some glimmer of attention.

One of them said the WRONG thing to the WRONG one & ended up getting the BUSINESS from him & not in a gay-read-you-write-you-turn-the-page-recite-you way. But in a I will not hesitate to smack a bych way. It left me with the impression that maybe he was not so gay, but later as I watched him look EXTRA disinterested in some terribly weaved chick’s attempt at a lapdance I was snapped back to reality.

I was really tempted to ask the brother in the double collared shirts (that is he had on TWO shirts with collars): “Hi, yes, excuse me, hello… are you gay?” I mean, it was not any of my business, but with all that went on that night, my interest was piqued. I never got up the nerve to inquire, but I will certainly be on the look out for these men in the streets, I mean they have to go out on clandestine dates EVENTUALLY, right?

I am so damn tired of seeing Puffy’s mother out in the streets with that sandy blonde weave & some random not fit for somebody’s mama get up. She plays too much! How can Puffy, a fashion mogul, be OKAY with his mom coming out of the house like that? Some would even ask how can he ALLOW her to dress this way…but if Janice is any thing like my mom then there is no way to DISALLOW your mom to leave the house wearing whatever she likes. If my mom wants to rock her wide-leg, gray, cotton sweat suit with a chunky heeled black boot… I can SUGGEST she not leave the house like that, but trust if she thinks she looks hot, she is going to leave the house that way whether I like it or not. *MAJOR EYEROLL* (yes my mom really does rock this ‘fit). So, in that vein, I leave you with this… an open Letter to Miz Janice Combs:

Dear Janice Combs,

 

I am fairly certain that there was never a point in time when you looked sexy, cute, hot or effeminate. I am terribly sorry that you may be feeling envious because your son has gone through those style/lifestyle phases. However, when you ain’t got it, you ain’t got it. Please stop trying to MAKE your (son’s) money BUY you your sexy, cute, hot, effeminate youth. It will never ever ever ever ever happen. So I IMPLORE you to dress for your age, size, and looks. No one wants to see the sandy blonde hair and rag tag sag hags you have had botoxed & pushed up & now call breasts. LET IT GO! Let your money speak FOR you, because right now, you are speaking for your money & you appear to be saying: Money can’t by you class or a clue.

 

 

Sincerely,

 

Me & everyone else disappointed that you still doin this dumbshyt!

Let me start off by saying I am not a shallow person…

I think some say: If you have to tell people you ARE NOT a certain way, then you likely are? *girlish giggle*

So back to ME! I work in an area frequented by and populated with men I refer to as “the defend-ANT”. I work at Judiciary Square, so named for it’s lovely attractions: the police HQ & DC courthouse. YAY!

This is an area where you CANNOT assume every man with a suit and a folder or briefcase is a lawyer. MOST times, if you look carefully, the suit is too big or dusty, it is accompanied by either Nike boots or Timbs, and there is likely a tattoo of some sort ABOVE the neckline. All dead giveaways that this guy is not a lawyer, but a CLIENT. It took a little while for me to catch on. One fine August day as I was walking to the train station, I noticed a young man in all black: longsleeved shirt, black sweatpants, and Nike Boots. August in this area is like High noon in HELL! So it sent up a red flag right away. That was when I took a closer look at his boots- they lacked laces. I thought to myself: Why would he be dressed so inappropriately for the weather and why wouldn’t he have laces in his boots …………….

Oh, I get it, he just got out.

---

So today, as I try my damnedest to walk across the street to grab my food and come RIGHT back without drawing any attention or making any eye contact, it happened. I was eye-stalked by a most hideous creature: part predator, part Harry and the Hendersons, part Pizza the Hut (yeah, I did it, I made a Spaceballs reference) for those keeping a running tally that’s THREE parts disgusting! He looked at me as if I were naked & walking directly at him offering him up the good good. What in fact happened was he was crossing my path & appeared to be slowing down so me being the good-at-faking-oblivious-but-actually-being-very-attentive woman that I am, went into code orange- HIGH ALERT! I didn’t mean to make eye contact, but it was unavoidable and his smile was more horrfiying than a trashcan full of dead puppies! JUST TRAGIC!But he really looked interested in saying something. So I kicked these 3.5 inch Parade of Shoes Going Out Of Business Specials into 4th gear & made a beeline to the building before he could finish his hello. WHEW!It made me think. I look nice today and I was clearly headed back to work. What made HIM think that I would stop & chat with him in his dirty, oversized white tee, unkempt locs complete WITH thin/bald spots in the middle and whatever else he had going on below the waist (not in THAT way, dirty birdies!). I didn’t get that far because I didn’t want to run the risk of him thinking I was giving him ANY kind of eye!

Now I am sure there are those that will say, you never know who he was or what his story is. And you know what? YER RIGHT! I will NEVER KNOW! Because I didn’t want to. I have kissed some frogs in my life, believe you me! And I have given chances to some men that were less than easy on the eyes. But I refuse to try & polish a turd! UGH! I get so ASTOUNDED by some of the males that attempt to capture the attention of my girls and me. We don’t look clinically depressed, desperate, crazy, homeless or unemployed, so why are you bringing yourself over here with your RAGGELY (yes RAGGELY) mouth, tattooed face, kicked over kicks, ring-around-the-ring-around the collar shirt, and poor grasp of the english language; and subsequently getting upset because we are not trying to “conversate” with you. SERIOUSLY, haveyoulookedinthemirrorlately? No? Oh, because if you HAD, you would see what we see: YOU DUSTY!

I am not claiming I am a dime, but I look good enough to get a man with: ALL his teeth, a job that requires his neck & face be tattoo free, shoes that don’t look like he walked here from the Great Depression, a FRESH white tee, and at least a general idea of good and bad grammar enough to know that “conversate” is not a DAMN WORD! I mean, come on, guy. Let’s be real here, just like you CHOSE to talk to me, I am CHOOSING to NOT talk to you. Saves me the breath and you the embarrassment, though I believe you have no pride and NO shame. I mean, afterall you came out of the house looking like the Katrina looter…

Oh NO she didn’t!

Oh YES I did!

I need EVERYONE to have a mirror near their front door because u NEVER know who you are going to see out in the streets, ain’t that right, Mr. Katrina Beer Looter?

First of all, I want to clarify that I am an educated woman, so the misspelling and improper grammar of the title and blog is purposeful. Whenever my girls and I get angry or disgruntled we use improper or broken English to get our point across. So get over it!

This summer has been lackluster. Few cookouts, house parties, gatherings. Just borin. There was a point in time when my friends and I had gone to 3 cookouts in one day. We made an entire loop around the beltway. From Largo we went out Branch Ave., from there we went to Alexandria, from there we went to Silver Spring. then decided from there to just keep heading in the same direction instead of revisiting all the exits we had been by already. This was back when gas was 2 fiddy and it was still fun to meet & talk to new boys.  How long ago was THAT, right?

This summer it has been hard for me to come up with 2 weekends in a row that have things going on that I feel like I want to go to, let alone several things in on ONE day. I have been to maybe 2 good cookouts this summer. Maybe I am old, but really gas prices seem to be ruining my social life. I want to see and be seen, but it’s hard to do so when the people, places and things I want to see and be seen with, in, around, etc. are few and far between. I haven’t been really MOVED by many events because no oe is really doing anything intimate enough or innovative enough.

The cookout I attended today was foiled by my mom’s shenanigans. The food was ON POINT. But my mom SUCKED all the fun out of it & the folks were very YOUNG. The 3 things you need for a quality cookout are: food, folks and fun! I cannot wait until my friends August event because that always has all three. But until then, there is nothing I am looking forward to, nothing that I MUST attend. 2 of the three events I most look forward to have come & gone and all I remember about the first one is …. is… hmmm… gettin numbers?  Wow am I in 10th grade? The second one had amazing food and strawberry acai Smirnoff Ices! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Well, all in all, this summer lacks quality fun! Just me & my girls around a table of food or drinks in a location where we feel welcome to talk about anyone who walks by and meeting new people to joke with & passively entertain. Is that too much to ask?

I guess so!