Not hating, Just stating…

As most of you have probably heard already, Miss Bea Arthur of Golden Girls fame has passed away.

I took some time to reflect on “friendship”. And after the weekend I have had, I REALLY know what friends are supposed to be. I know some folks, I have some close acquaintances, but as Gabby said on Desperate Housewives last night, there are friends with a LITTLE “f” & there are Friends with a BIG “f”. The Golden Girls were Friends. Everything was out in the open. There was no mistaking the fact that they thought Rose was dim… ROSE knew that but she also knew that they loved her anyway. There was no mistaking that they thought Blanche was a slut… Blanche KNEW she was but she also knew that they loved her no matter what.

Being a friend isn’t about “smile smile smile, fun fun fun” ALL the time. It is about being able to sit down over cheesecake & keep it REAL with each other. It is about looking someone in the eyes and telling them how you feel. And not from a place of judgement, but from a place of TRUE concern. THAT is the most important thing that I learned from the Golden Girls. Learning to be honest with yourself is the most important part of being a friend. Being able to ask yourself, why does this bother/concern me about this person. Am I truly concerned? Am I disappointed? Am I frustrated? Am I jealous? It is imperative to know where you stand within yourself and not try to convince yourself otherwise. When one of the Girls had a problem with the other. They went to one other person for a reality check and then, if necessary went to the person. Once the issue was on the table, discussed & concluded. That was it.

How awesome would that be? Let me tell you, when you have a Friend… it is awesome! This weekend I was able to spend time with close acquaintances, friends & Friends and it put so much into perspective for me. It gave me a CHARGE to know that when it all comes down to it, what REALLY matters is being together on one accord with no secrets, no pretense, no nonsense… JUST FUN! there COULD have been division, there COULD have been disdain, there could have been all of those things… But, at the end of the day: WHO CARES?

Bea, thanks for teaching me how to be stern, straightforward, and dryly hilarious… but most of all thanks for teaching me how to be a Friend!

Wednesday used to be my DND night, but last night… Tuesday turned me out!The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion show and Keyshia Cole- The Way It Is made for some good reality tv last night. Tonight the Obamas & Barbara Walters will have me captivated so Top Chef will have to wait! BUT, back to the lecture @ hand. Let’s start with the Real Houswives of Atlanta Reunion Show.

“Real” Housewives of Atlanta Reunion

I was watching in amazement at how DELUSIONAL Kim is. Does she really think she can miraculously sing? She is a wreck, a mess and a tragedy. At first I was just going to REMEMBER everything & blog from memory, but after the first commercial break or so… I had to take notes. How DARE Kim start crying and IMPLYING she had cancer- You do NOT play with the big “C”, girl. Then the airhead didn’t even CLARIFY until later. Girl, don’t play! You lost 25 lbs. & your hair started falling out and the doctor was 90% sure it was cancer… and when the host asks her point blank did she have cancer she starts moaning and carrying on as if she did. Here’s the thing, I still didn’t feel bad for her. Now can you tell me I am the only one? No! No. Andy Cohen was a good one, because I would have popped her in the back of that wigged head! And I feel GYPPED because I SWEAR I missed Kim talking about her wig squeezing her head. I was ready to LOL at that one, just to see how she fit that in there!

Now what really struck me was the STAGING. Kim & Sheree on one side and NeNe, Lisa, and Deshawn on the other. As I watched the season I realized that Kim & Sheree had one very IMPORTANT thing in common, DELUSIONS OF grandeur! Sheree and her divatude and the clear fact that she thought she was the best thing since sliced bread & the diaphragm. Honey, HUSH! You and your seven-figure divorce settlement and gay cavalcade of friends are enough to make me want to just stab something. Just STOP! And Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim… poor old-faced 29 year old living-off-a-married-man Kim. Get a JOB, sweetie! Maybe when you can make enough money to buy a CLUE! But I think that Kim & Sheree DESERVE each other, they both are delusional, disloyal and disgusting.

By a show of hands, who was surprised to find out that NeNe & Sheree were friends before the show started? *surveys the room* Uh, huh… me too! SO glad I’m not alone here. NeNe strikes me as the type that will say things to your face AND behind your back, my kind of girl. I mean, NeNe is HILARIOUS she understood the comedic value of everything and above all else she was REALISTIC. I cannot imagine her and Sheree as friends, Sheree spends so much time PLAYING coy mistress, she can’t even have fun, I bet. Andy told her her clothing line wasn’t going to keep her warm at night; translation: “Quit playing, bych, you need a man!”

So let’s toss Kim & Sheree to the side, so they can lie & delude each other into oblivion, shall we? Let us move on to Lisa. I feel bad that her husband had a “grand opening, grand closing” moment with the Raiders, but how bad do you have to be to get released from the freaking RAIDERS? Anyway, Lisa looks a little odd to me; I cannot quite put my finger on it… otherworldly or something. But when she said: “Eff you Kim, I will flip you over that couch!” I believed it & she instantly became my fave! I knew that had Kim called HER a bych, she would have come at her like a spider monkey. And I soooo wanted to see it! But Lisa was dead on, Kim needed medication, because she was so obviously lying about EVERYTHING she said. I wish her & her husband the best in allll their ventures.Now Deshawn just kinda sat there looking cheap in the face. I swear she talks like a feral child (think of Jodie Foster in Nell). I am glad her soul has ben anchored in the Lord and ALL that, but can she needs speech therapy before she preaches her first sermon. And, uuuuh, not to be funny but, how is it possible to go to Divinity School online, how are you too busy to make time for the LORD… Something about that whole scenario is just WRONG!

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that Dwight came flouncing in looking like the damn VAMPIRE in Brooklyn!

The Way It Is

In all honesty, when Keyshia Cole first came out, I didn’t like her. She was a hot ghetto mess & I thought she was just another non-singing hood chick who was “effing for tracks” (hey hey hey, those are Dallas Austin’s words [not in reference to Keyshia, but you get it] NOT MINE). As I slowly started getting sucked into watching The Way It Is because my sister used to watch it EVERYTIME it was on. Everytime? Yes, EVERYTIME! I have to watch this show in real time because I don’t want the spie sin my DVR notifying the powers-that-be that I actually WATCH BET… LORD FORBID!

I only have a FEW comments about this show because Frankie weighs on my SOUL, she does! Neffe has little people hands… like stubby Vienna sausages!! OMG! I was a little disappointed in Whitney Phipps being on there, but he is her pastor, so… *shrug*.

Now Frankie is the walking, talking proof of the old adage: Once a crackhead, Always a crackhead! She is everything sad & funny about a crackhead. And I truly feel for Neffe because she tries to love that woman and that woman insists on showing out & STYLING on her every chance she gets!

 Pastor Phipps told her she had to stop trying to make things better all by herself between 2 adults. Keyshia could benefit from listening to a little Project Pat: Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved! And by “her” I mean her entire family, they are doing very little as a whole to save themselves. And what is up with her foster mother where does she get those wigs? Shytty Wig Emporium????

Frankie… your man??? Frankie… your man! I mean her BOYFRIEND is literally a boy… and all Neffe could say was he’s cuter than the last one. *smh* He is barely out of puberty & he has gold teeth. But I guess if he has never been to jail (in his adult life of 2.5 years) and doesn’t do drugs (marijuana isn’t a drug) then hey, he is a catch. BET still has the LOUDEST commercials ever… I remember having to turn the volume down all the time! But what is up with those Dr. Miracle commercials? They are low budget & Dr. Miracle can’t talk… he sounds like he is related to DeShawn Snow. UGH!

Out of alllll those kids Frankie had, Keyshia is the cutest one? Neffe cleaned up WELL for her book cover, but they lightened her waaay up, WOW! 

And after allll that drama, I turn to see who won Dancing with the Stars & the ish is STILL on!  I  was going to watch it until I realized Miley Sinus was going to perform, so I went ahead & called it a night, UGH! Way to RUIN a results show! 

I’m not hating, I’m just stating!

IT JUST HIT ME… i KNOW WHAT THE MYSTERIOUS DISEASE IS KIM HAD…. ANOREXIA LIEVOSA!

First let me say, hello… how have you been? I have been GRRRRRRRRREAT! Getting wooed out of my SHOES & loving it!

NOW, let’s move on.

I just saw a commercial for Coolio’s reality show. Ummm, who was requesting this? Who was seeking this out? Who was sitting at home thinking: “HEY, I wonder what happened to that WACKARD Coolio and all those kids he had with his former crackheadself?” To quote Erykah Badu, CERTAINLY not me! The more shows the come up with the LESS likely I am to tune in, though Stylista is on my MIGHT see TV list. But that wasn’t even what I wanted to say, but it just happened that the commercial came on as I decided to blog.

So back to the lecture @ hand! I watched Real Chance of Love starring those awesomely likable homothugs Real & Chance. Those that are unfamiliar with reality tv on VH1 have NO CLUE who I am talking about & I am not going to take the time to explain, so I advise you to Wikipedia it! Don’t worry, I won’t wait. Well the daggone show is HILARIOUS, Chance’s hair was perpetually moist & his humor was FANTASTIC! Real did not disappoint in the role of the supporting fagctor.now here is where the proof that I watch too much reality TV comes in. Despite them putting that big horse stable facade on it & switching up the decor, I recognized the Surreal Life house!(Again, if you don’t get it, you don’t get it.)

Then as I was allowing Scream Queens (a show searching for the next female star of Saw 69 or whatever number they are on) to watch me on the television and I looked up just in time to realize that they are living in the same house as the guys on From Gs to Gents. It is then that I realized, I play too much. Why do I know these things, recognize them, and then let people know that I know. *smh* One good thing about this discovery is that VH1 isn’t wasting money, I guess, right?

AAAAANYWHO… I want the “ladies” from Rock of Love to CHOKE! Charm School my AZZ! You are NOT better than the first & original with the “ladies” from Flavor of Love. And finally, I want to say… after Real & Chance NO MORE “wookin pa nub in aww da wong paces” type shows, VH1. Just start calling your shows what they are like: “Attention Whores Starting Fights over Some Trick They Hardly Know” or “Girls on the Low Self Esteem Team in Search of Their Fifteen Minutes of Fame Because Their Daddies’ Didn’t Love Them”. Stop trying to trick people into believing that you really CARE that these people are searching for “love” you care that these people are searching for attention. DAMN THAT WRITER’S STRIKE for making those people you HATED in high school famous. PEW!